The Case of the Dating Doldrums

I’m feeling kind of blah towards dating right now.

I told The Ginger (who isn’t really a Ginger, but his beard is red) that I just wanted to be friends. I felt kind of bad about it. He just moved here a few months ago so he doesn’t have many friends, which explains why he was texting me constantly. He’s a super sweet guy, but I don’t find him terribly attractive. That, and the sex was mediocre. It wasn’t bad at all, but it wasn’t anything to write home (or my blog) about.

Frenchie is still around, but only every now and again. He’s a Quantum Physicist at a nearby prestigious university and he travels a lot. He goes all around the country and the world conducting research and giving lectures. I actually like that he travels so much because it helps keep things casual between us which is exactly what I’m looking for at this this point in time. Thus far, he wins the competition for the best date. He took me to this restaurant that I’ve wanted to try for a long time. It didn’t disappoint and neither did he. Afterward we checked out a couple bands a bar a couple doors down. Dinner and dancing gets me every time. Plus he has a knack for selecting the perfect background music for hooking up—a talent that is much appreciated by me.

The Actor is also still around, but I haven’t seen much of him lately. I had company in town for the past week and then I got sick so I’ve been avoiding him in an effort to not spread my germs. I think we’re supposed to hang out this weekend though. He is super sweet and affectionate—both of which I like.  However, every time we make out, I walk away looking like my face got in a fight with a porcupine. Not a pleasant sensation. We haven’t had sex yet, but I will say that he is AMAZING at other things and just leave it at that.

Obviously, I haven’t heard from Mr. Teacher since our awkward run in. I’m debating texting him just to see how he is doing, but I haven’t done it yet. I figure I will give it another two weeks and then see how I feel. I don’t want to come across as desperate, but I do want him to know that I’m still interested. I’ve yet to find where those two points meet. Honestly, I’m hoping that they meet at a point that scores me another date. Maybe more?

I think I’m experiencing a case of the Dating Doldrums.

I want to go out and meet new boys, but maybe I have unrealistic expectations. I want that WOW! factor. I want the butterflies and the feeling of anticipation for the next time I see him. Right now, no one really seems to be doing that for me. I want the desire to rip his clothes off and then stay in bed for hours just talking and getting to know each other. Does that even exist or is that just something I’ve invented in my head as a direct result of watching too many romantic comedies? Am I trying too hard? Or not enough?

I was warned that this dating thing wouldn’t turn out to be everything that it’s talked up to be. And I think I’m starting to get that. Each guy that I meet has so many great qualities, but none of them have everything that I’m looking for. Is it even possible to find everything that I’m looking for in one person? I am constantly comparing these men to my ex-husband. Not so much as people, but more so the dynamic between us. I mean, at one point I thought my ex-husband was the end-all, be-all. I did marry him, after all. I over-analyze the connection that I share with these boys. Could it be more? Should it be more? Are they just duds? Maybe I’m the dud?

Or is it simply a matter of time?

Perhaps that line I should be looking for isn’t the one between desperation and genuine interest, but rather the fine one between good and good enough.

I’m leading the crusade for the refusal to settle. But maybe, in a way, we all settle in the end. If I choose to throw that possibility out the window then I am left with two possibilities:

  1. I will be forever alone.
  2. I will find the man that is perfect for me.

I don’t think I’m quite ready to give up on my quest for the latter option. In the meantime, I suppose I will just bask in the depths of my doldrums knowing full well that what goes down must come up. So what if that statement defies the laws of gravity. I’m the one making up the rules now.

(click photo for source)

(click photo for source)

Because I Really Like Kissing Boys

…I’ve updated my “About” page so feel free to check that out. It should hopefully give you a little better of an idea as to what this blog is all about…

So, I suppose we should start by playing a little catch-up. I’d like to give you the short version (that’s still kind of long) on where I’ve been and who what I’ve been doing since my separation became officially official about 4 months ago.

The Cast of Characters (names have been changed to protect the innocent…mostly myself)

Mr. Teacher

The Ginger

Frenchie

Married-Guy

The D-Bag

Ron Swanson

I still can’t quite believe it myself that I’ve been out on dates with 6 different guys already. I have really been looking for distractions over the last few months and it would seem that these guys fit the bill. Some of these dates were better than others. One, in particular, was terrible! But it still makes me happy that I finally have a bad first-date story. Every girl should have one of those, right? Now that I’ve informally introduced you to the various men who have been taking up my time, I plan to be back and regale you with stories from our date(s). I intend to present these stories in a series of Acts, beginning with Act 1: Hot For Teacher. Keep an eye out for that in an upcoming post.

Meanwhile, I’m exhausted. I came down with the flu about two weeks ago. It knocked me on my ass for almost a week. I don’t think I have ever been that sick in my life. Obviously, dating had to be put on hold while I recovered but now that I am happy and healthy once again, the business of my life seems to be picking up right back where I left it. In an effort to preserve both that happiness and health, I decided to lock myself in my house and hide from the world this past weekend. I told all of the boys I’m currently talking to that I was going out of town and I rested and relaxed and texted nary a one. Instead, I cleaned, did laundry, arts and crafted, ordered pizza, and drank wine. All alone. And it was amazing. So amazing, in fact, that I decided to continue the trend this week because I have so many other things going.

Tonight I plan to grocery shop and paint my nails. Tomorrow night I am going to take myself to the movies. Believe it or not, I have never actually seen a movie all by myself! All that will change tomorrow when I treat myself to Silver Linings Playbook and a giant tub of popcorn. Yet one more thing to check off my 2013: Get Growing List. On Wednesday, my girlfriends and are going to see the Lumineers in D.C. Thursday is a day-o-rest. Friday is the “Save Your Soul” dance party at a local dance hall. Who knows what Saturday will hold. And SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY is the Super Bowl. Go Ravens!!! Whew! I’m exhausted just from having typed all that, hence my self-imposed break-from-dating week. But that is totally OK because I have so many, many other awesome things going on this week–things that make me happier than dating ever could.

To end, I’ll just say WELCOME, LADIES. I’ll hope you’ll stick around and follow me on my adventure! I would love it if you would introduce yourself in the comments–but please remember that I am hoping to stay anonymous here so do not use my real name.

Love, Sexy Sadie